The Smorgasbord

             This fall like the autumn leaves and the bursting clouds, a shower of images came upon me, metaphors with a message playing like a video.  Not my gift.  Mine is auditory, hence the title of my blog, “whispers of mystery.”  My whispers periodically entered during these scenes, acting as a narrator with only a few words.  They also titled them: Artificial Sweetener, Backstroke Swimmers, The Smorgasbord, The Bumblebee and the Hawk, and the Laser Beam.  A perfect complement for Thanksgiving, with its own smorgasbord feast, is The Smorgasbord.  

First, a little context.  These visions came like my whispers, unexpected, off my radar, and interrupting the silly chatter of my own mind with its complaints, worries, and petty preoccupations.  Unlike my own preoccupations, these whispers are not petty, nor complaining, nor judgmental, yet instead, profound, clever, witty, teasing, playful with puns I never would have thought of, and they are much smarter than I am.  Their voice is gentle, quiet, and plural.  Their pronoun is they because I hear them like a choir so perfectly in tune to the same note that I can’t distinguish between any two voices, though I hear them plural, as a chorus. 

The human self and the eternal self

            The Smorgasbord builds on my own musings over the dual nature within the human condition, which I call the “human self” and the “eternal self.”  I came to this understanding by observing it first within myself and then by seeing it in the description of Adam’s creation in Genesis 2:7, from both the dust of the earth (which I call the human self) and the breath of God (the eternal self).  

            The former pastor Ethan of my blogged book, “Just like Eve," explains it in Headshaking Lot of Change.  He laments the current Christian tradition “is missing the gems of wisdom by interpreting as literal history stories that were designed to reveal the mysteries of the soul," and he grieves that “Augustine missed this very important creation of our opposing parts within and claimed instead that men were born into ‘Original Sin.’ His hypothesis has been followed for millennia, yet the Bible presents us as humans in duality, just like Adam was.’” 

            Ethan continues by noting this duality runs through the Bible, first as metaphors like Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Israel and Ishmael, and Joseph and his brothers, then further developed by Paul in Romans as the struggle within of the self that doesn’t do what it wants to do and does do what it doesn’t want.  Then he notes the duality is further developed in sayings of Jesus in the extra-canonical Gospel of Thomas.  (For the full dialogue, click here.) 

            All mystical traditions carry an expression of the dual nature of humans, whether it is the Hindu Shiva and Shakti, the Buddhist natural and transforming natures, the Taoist yin and yang, and so forth.  Leading psychologists like Carl Jung have also discovered these natures within the human psyche.  Here in The Smorgasbord, they appear with the names I call them, the human self and the eternal self.

The Smorgasbord

             Just as my whispers come to me, by surprise, interrupting my petty mind chatter, earlier this month, this unexpected vision arrived.

             Before me stood a grand buffet table, a great smorgasbord of delights, each in miniature form, like toy cars and tiny doll houses.  Laid upon it were furniture and food, clothing and computers, silver rings and cell phones, toys and treasures, an RV, a boat, a house, a Ford F-110, and a Tesla, all in miniature.  So were our modern distractions: video games, social media pages, YouTube channels, TikTok and Etsy promos, and a host of infomercials.

             As I watched, more and more treasures descended from the ceiling upon the smorgasbord.  Soon the table was cluttered so tight none of the delights could anymore be seen in their distinct form.  My whispers pointed and uttered: 

These are the human self’s free choices.

             The vision then presented obstructions to the delights, obstacles that looked like boulders, shown as preventing the onlooker from accessing the treasures.  These were shown in the form of bills marked “LATE” in red lettering, cut up credit cards with low credit scores pinned to them, guns and cannonballs, hospital beds and prescription drugs, crying children, and demanding family members.  Also shown were urgent emails from bosses, next to the never-replied-to emails of the employees to their bosses warning of the same matter.

             I felt my angels smirking when I came upon the display of the emails.  As they frequently do, they were teasing me with this very personal image.  I lingered on it, recalling my own repeated emails to my supervisors who never replied, then made the matter I had warned them of my problem. 

            The vision then zoomed in to a close-up of a few of the treasures, a toy car, athletic shoes, a chocolate bar, and a specialty coffee drink with plenty of the whipped cream I love.  I was then shown a few, sparse spaces between some items on the smorgasbord.  My whispers spoke once more: 

            The finest treasures are in the spaces between the delights.

           These spaces had been wider, before modern life had deposited too many delights and distractions.  Now they were few, sparse, and shallow.  However, I next saw the spaces begin to glow with light, as if a candle had been lit within them.  These spaces were shallower, but brighter.  Pointing to these spaces, my angels whispered once more: 

These are the eternal self’s options of free will.

             Free choice for the human self.  Free will for the eternal self.  Interesting.  As I said at the start, my whispers are smarter than me.  They do this often.  They whisper a tantalizing mystery, and then they leave.  They don’t explain it.  They leave it to me to reflect on, ponder, or, as I like to say, percolate over.

             As I percolated over this image, I perceived free choices are limited.  They may be plentiful, like the smorgasbord, but they are nonetheless finite.  But free will is limitless. 

            I also reflected the more choices given to the human self, the less likely is the human to look beyond the smorgasbord to the limitless choices of the eternal self.  These human choices of free choice also impede the human from creating within himself an opening to meet the eternal self. 

            It is in the spaces between the human self’s choices where the eternal self resides.  As the choices multiply, the spaces shrink, and they may keep shrinking until they are nearly invisible.           

            Today, our choices are so vast the spaces for the eternal self to be found are so slim.  Yet – and here is the miracle of our time – our divine forces are brightening those slim spaces.  There may be fewer, shallower spaces for us to enter to meet the eternal self, but they are brighter, calling to us, wooing us, drawing us into them.

 The Metaphors of Life

Since The Smorgasbord was one of a series of visions, each showing what I call a metaphor of life, I’ll begin a Metaphors of Life series at the start of 2025.  I hope you’ll look out for these in the new year and until then, enjoy your Thanksgiving smorgasbord.  Be sure to look for those spaces between the delights for the finest treasures!

Next Metaphors of Life

Artificial Sweetener

The Deep-end Diver and the Backstroke Swimmers

The Bumblebee and the Hawk

The Laser Beam

© 2024 by Karina.  All rights reserved.  Use only with permission and/or a link to this blog post.

The Inner Feminine: Life-giver, Life-saver, Life Force?

 Glendale Racquet Club, Colorado Springs, CO, Saturday, May 19, 2012

             “Where’s Davie been, Jasmine?”  Gabbie is stretching her left leg at the front of Court 1.  ”BD says he’s taking a break,’ but it’s been over three months.  He’s still going to Men’s Night.  Why’s he not coming to Mixed Doubles Night?”  

Jasmine bends forward and touches the floor between her straightened legs, wondering how she might reply.  The four friends have Court 1 reserved most Saturdays for their own doubles game.   On Thursday evenings, Glendale reserves half of its courts for Mixed Doubles Night, where Jasmine has been Davie’s standard partner.  For men’s doubles, he partners with BD.  

“BD said I should ask you,” Gabbie continues.  “Do you know what’s up with him?”

             Mindy shoots her partner a worried look.  Jasmine pulls herself up and slightly squeezes her left cheek and lip as she looks back at Mindy.  The truth can be concealed no longer.  She stands up, cups her chin with her thumb and two fingers, and turns to Gabbie.  “We kissed.  The church is mad.  They don’t want us to see each other.”

             “You kissed?” Kristin’s mouth widens. 

            “You?  And Davie?” Gabbie picks up a ball, bounces it, and shakes her head.  “And the church?” 

            “--is freaked out.  He’s the youth pastor.  He’s not supposed to do stuff like that.”

             “So they’re punishing him by taking away the sport that keeps him sane from them?”

             “They don’t see it that way,” Jasmine sighs.

             Mindy taps Gabbie on the shoulder.  “They’re punishing Jasmine even more.  They’ve kicked her out of church.” 

            Gabbie turns to face Mindy and scrunches her eyes.  For real?  Mindy nods. Gabbie shifts to stretch her right leg and turns to Jasmine.  “How do you feel about that?” 

            “I was steaming mad,” Jasmine replies, adding that she was judged without a hearing, then sent off.  “What Bible do they read?”  She shakes her head, perplexed.  In a voice so quiet her friends can barely hear it, Jasmine mumbles her own answer.  “Not the one I read.”  But now, she is resolved.  She lifts her head up.  “The real punishment is not seeing my partner, my friend, and--” Jasmine sighs, “--the one I can’t quit thinking about.” 

            Kristin quietly pulls out a can of balls, bounces one, then bounces it to Jasmine with a smile.  “Let’s play.” 

            Since their opening conversation distracted Jasmine, Gabbie and Kristin take decisive wins.  As the friends walk into The Alley, Glendale’s sports bar, for lunch, they see four large screen TVs showing Tiger Woods making a putt on The Alley’s ESPN station.  “We’ve got to hear about that kiss,” Gabbie teases, while pulling out her seat to sit down.  “Order a real drink on me.”  She smiles and winks at Jasmine.  “But get your own lunch.” 

            Jasmine points to the daiquiri special on the table’s triangular drink menu.  “Daiquiris for us all!” Kristin lifts her right hand with cupped fingers, like she’s already holding the drink, and raises it to a toast.  “Is this your first?” Jasmine usually orders pop, while the others order beer or wine or something more fun.   Jasmine smiles.  “No, not quite.”  

Leaning over the table so she can whisper, Jasmine tells her friends about the kiss, its magic, her nightly recollections of it, and confides her longing for love-making with Davie. 

            “So you do fantasize sex with him?” Mindy teases.  Jasmine blushes.  Time to shift the topic.  “I’m trying to scheme a way to reconnect with him.  I can’t go to Men’s Night. I’ve been blackballed from church.  Where else can I find him?” 

            “You can’t just text him?” Kristin asks. 

“What would I text?”   

            As hard as it’s been to have been cast out of church and to go three months without seeing Davie, Jasmine shares she’s been learning more than ever before: about herself, Tim, her marriage, why it worked when they got married and why it’s not working now, and also about women and what the church says the Bible says about them that the Bible doesn’t say. 

            Gabbie and Kristin stare at their friend.  “That’s a lot.”  Gabbie takes a long sip of her daiquiri. “Why did your marriage work when you got married, but doesn’t now?”           

            “Tim was the rock I needed then, and now I’m more like a ball rolling down the hill, rolling further away from that rock.” 

            “I get that, Jazzie.” Kristin smiles.  “But I’m curious.  What have you learned the church says the Bible says about women that the Bible doesn’t say?”  Kristin had been raised in a conservative, Christian home, and in middle school, she refused to keep homeschooling.  Then in high school, she rebelled against the church altogether, a choice she and her parents still argue over. 

Jasmine moves forward in her seat and rests her arms, crossed, on the table.  “I started at the Beginning, and I can’t even get past those first three chapters of Genesis.  The writer – or writers – of these chapters were so forward-thinking, but the church has turned the story upside down, especially when they demonize Eve, and then leave out how she was cursed, and they leave out their responsibility to repair that curse.  Right there, in that story we think we’ve all read, Eve was cursed to be ‘ruled over’ by her man.  You won’t hear pastors admit that.” 

Kristin chuckles.  Jasmine nods and says she’s just discovered something new, a tantalizing play on words the translators missed.  “You know that pesky little verse that calls the woman the man’s ‘helper’?” 

“Yeah, like we’re second-class,” Kristin groans, “here to ‘help’ the gender that really matters.” 

“I think it’s an error of translation,” Jasmine whispers.  “For centuries, the translators haven’t known what to do with the actual Hebrew word, ezer.” 

“How do you think it should be translated?” 

“Let’s start with Eve.  In Hebrew, Eve, or Havah, means ‘life-giver.’” 

“She gives birth, so she gives life,” Mindy replies. 

“It fits, right?”  Jasmine takes another sip of her daiquiri.  “And ezer means ‘life-saver.’”  Jasmine tells her friends ezer is used 21 times in the Hebrew Bible, and in every instance other than its application to the creation of woman, ezer suggests warrior-like power and strength.  It’s usually applied to God Himself as an ezer to the people of Israel or to David or to Moses.  Moses even named his second son Eliezer and gave this reason: “The God of my father was my ezer and delivered me from the sword of Pharoah.” 

“Powerful.”  Kristin is impressed with her friend. 

“In Psalms 33, 70, and 115, King David often called the Lord his ‘ezer and shield’ or ‘ezer and deliverer,’” Jasmine continues.  She pulls out her phone, opens her Bible app, and reads out of Deuteronomy 33, where God “rides the heavens to your ezer, or salvation,” and the Lord “saves” from the root ezer, like a “shield” and a “sword” with enemies “cowering,” while He “tramples their high places.” 

“That’s more than a mere ‘helper,’” Mindy says, shaking her head. 

“No doubt.  From these other uses, it seems as if ezer is more like a life-saver, and a play on words for Eve as ‘life-giver.’” 

“Wow, that changes everything.”  Kristin shakes her head in disbelief.  “Our identity as women takes on a whole new perspective."

“I don’t feel like a life-saver, though,” Mindy confesses.  “I think I’m looking for a man to be my life-saver.” 

“That’s also interesting, Mindy.”  Jasmine takes a breath.  “Eve was given three curses.  We all know the first: child-bearing.  The third is that chilling one that Eve’s man would ‘rule over’ her.  But the second one is the most interesting to me: that she will ‘long for’ or ‘desire’ her man.  Maybe what you’ve just said is part of it.  Maybe she longs for him to be a life-saver to her.” 

Gabbie’s eyes widen.  She slowly nods.  “So it works both ways?  Both men and women can long for one another to be each other’s life savers?”  Gabbie ruffles through her hair, searching her memory.  “I think I remember learning that the Hindus say that Shakti, the feminine principle, represents the life force.” 

Jasmine raises her head.  Life-force? 

“Shiva, the masculine principle,” Gabbie continues, “is said to become a corpse without Shakti, his life-force.” 

"Shiva is the masculine, active principle, the one who acts in the world," Gabbie tells her friends.  "Shakti, the feminine, represents the life force, enabling the masculine to act.  Both are within us.  Our inner masculine relies upon the life force of the feminine within each of us.  Our inner masculine, the one who acts upon the world, is the initiator, but the feminine gives the masculine the energy and the impulse to initiate."  

The merger of Shiva and Shakti, as Gabbie understands the teaching, point to something deep: "our inner feminine and our inner masculine need to harmonize themselves with each other."  The friends, silent, keep their eyes on Gabbie, who takes a drink and continues. “Unless both our inner masculine and our inner feminine are alive and well, we’re stuck.” 

“So what you’re saying,” Mindy muses, “is that Eve might also represent our inner feminine, our own life-force, and that Adam might represent our own inner masculine, our internal initiator?” 

“If so,” Kristin replies, “any blame of women for whatever people think Eve may have done, even if she did exist, must be misguided.” 

“Very true, Kristin,” Gabbie nods.  “Yes, Mindy, that is what I wonder.  Carl Jung says the same thing, using his own words of ‘anima’ and ‘animus’ for the inner feminine and inner masculine.  They need to merge within us.  We need to let our inner feminine be a life-saver to our inner masculine, so it can initiate.” 

Jasmine takes a long slow sip of her daiquiri.  Is her head spinning from the daiquiri or from what Gabbie is suggesting?  No, her mind is too riveted.  “Life-giver,” “Life-saver,” “Life Force” as the “inner feminine”?  For both men and women? 

These notions are like nothing Jasmine has been raised to believe, yet they suggest truth more genuine than anything she’s been taught.  She feels her spine tingle with electricity.

Continue to "A Truly New New"