Oh 2021! What a year. 😳 Have any of us made it through these past two years without some battle scars? May we have mercy on one another, as each of us is not in “PTSD,” but “DTSD,” During Traumatic Stress Disorder.
In my own life this year, I faced two very great losses and changes: my teaching career, much sooner than anticipated, from which I was thankfully able to retire, and a separation from my husband.
Was COVID involved? As an accelerator and exacerbator, it was, and I wrote a poem, “Live Together 24/7” that started like this:
Live together 24/7
But don’t go anywhere
Don’t do anything
Move your office into your bedroom
Yes, we did move my office and my classroom into our bedroom. The kids had their rooms while doing school online; my husband had our little office which he had already been using; and my building was considered “COVID condemned” and we were ordered in an email typed in all caps to stay out of our offices and go there only to pick up or drop stuff off. Since the stories of both my career and my marriage are complex, I’ll just let my office and classroom in our bedroom serve as an apt metaphor for the challenges faced in both of them. These challenges were dove-tailing and happening all at once. What a year. However, I found myself like the child in the “Footprints” poem carried by a heavenly force from Above.
What else have I learned? Well, I’ve compiled a list, and you’ll see it closes with “Let yourself mess up with numbers 1-9!”
Lessons from 2021
1. Let yourself have mercy on yourself, and on everyone else. We are all fighting DTSD – During Traumatic Stress Disorder. Let’s applaud ourselves for making it through not only 2020, but also 2021, and give mercy to ourselves and to everyone else too.
2. Let yourself feel whatever you feel. Maybe what you feel is inconvenient. Maybe it messes with your morality. Maybe it could even bring pain to someone you love. Sit with your feelings. Listen to them. Try to avoid acting upon them or speaking about them until you can minimize any harm they could cause, and if you mess up on that too, forgive yourself. But don’t bury your feelings – no matter how inconvenient, “immoral” you think they are, and no matter the temporary pain.
3. Let yourself be quiet. Rest from the struggles and quiet yourself. In time and with much patience, you will hear. And once you begin to hear, let yourself trust.
4. Let yourself release whatever is not you – those layers of conditioning sent into you by everyone else over many years and their expectations of you. Release what is not you so you can begin to discover what really is you.
5. Let yourself learn from the obstacles of your life. Obstacles are there for a reason, and they carry a lesson in them. What does the Spirit wish to teach you from your trials?
6. Let nothing be forced – even your marriage or your career. Follow the Flow of Life, and let the Spirit guide you. You might discover the Spirit flowing into unfamiliar territory, but try not to force the flow, and if it flows into a new place, trust it.
7. Let yourself have the courage to choose what others might not understand, once you’ve given yourself the space to watch where the Flow is heading.
8. Let yourself find new grass. Sometimes, the grass is greener on the other side. But you might not see the flowers blooming over there yet. You might have to lie down on that grass and breathe a while and let yourself heal.
9. Let yourself be the new authentic self you are discovering yourself to be. Not everyone will like the new you, and many won’t know how to relate to the new you. Let that be okay.
10. Let yourself mess up on numbers 1-9! We’re learning. We can’t get all of this right while we’re learning. We all have a learning curve. Let that be okay too.
