May 5, 2012, Grill House Bar
“Chocolate Brownie, Chocolate Mousse, French Silk
Pie, Chocolate Ice cream Sundae. Which
would you like, Jazzie?” Mindy lets her
mouth water over the dessert menu.
“Anything chocolate is good with me. This is your enchanted evening, my
friend. You choose.” Jasmine and Mindy sitting down at the Grill
House Bar after having just seen Mindy’s new love interest, Tony, playing the
lead in South Pacific, and are closing their night out with dessert.
A waitress in black pants and a burgundy
button-down blouse, tucked in at the front and hanging out loose at the back,
arrives to take their order. Mindy
orders the Chocolate Ice cream Sundae with two spoons. Jasmine nods her thanks and the waitress
takes leave.
“I wish dessert with my husband could be this
easy,” Jasmine sighs.
“What do you mean?”
“Like you and me, Tim and I also share dessert, but
he usually chooses, and I am changing.”
“Go on.”
“Tim and I managed the impossible last month: a
real date. We went to the Mountain View.”
“Oooo,” Mindy’s eyes light up. “That upscale, romantic one at Cheyenne
Mountain?”
“That’s the one,” Jasmine smiles. “And the evening began magical. Tim opened my car door, pulled out my chair,
and kissed my hand.”
“Men still do that?”
“I know, right?” Jasmine glows. “He hadn’t for a long time. Ah, the gentleman came back!” Jasmine pauses
to smile, recalling the chivalry that won her heart.
“What went wrong?”
“Nothing at first. It started so romantic. The linen napkins were folded into swans and
a live pianist was playing classic romantic hits, mostly from the 70s and early
80s. Kenny Rogers, John Denver, Barry
Manilow, Lionel Richie. We even had a
gorgeous view of the mountains at sunset.
The sky had burst into red, orange, and purple.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“It was, at first.” Jasmine takes a deep breath. “Until dessert. Have you noticed the more upscale the place,
the fewer the choices?”
Mindy nods.
“That’s the Mountain View. We had only two choices: rum cake and a
chocolate brownie with ice cream on top.
Should be easy, right?”
“Chocolate brownie, of course.”
“Exactly.
I knew immediately, so I did a quick glance at the menu and passed it to
Tim. He deliberated. I decided to help. ‘So, whatd’ya’ think? Rum cake, oooooor the chocolate brownie?’”
Mindy chuckles at Jasmine’s overtly obvious hint.
“Tim mumbled he didn’t care and said maybe the
rum cake.”
“What did you do with that?”
“Rolled my eyes and got mad. Tim’s my archer and usually decisive. I’ve been the ‘whatever you like’ partner,
letting him decide. But this time, I had
no doubt, so I pressed him. ’You don’t care?’ He said, ’Nah.
It’s a romantic evening. Sounds
like rum cake.’ I told him that makes
sense if you like rum cake. You’ll love
what he said next, Mindy.”
“Well,” Jasmine begins, lowering her voice an
octave and trying to mimic her husband, “Everyone likes rum cake. It’s part of the American cuisine. You know: Mom, the flag, meat and potatoes,
apple pie and rum cake?’
Mindy chuckles. “I didn’t know that.”
“I didn’t either.
Mom, the flag, and rum cake?” Jasmine joins Mindy in a belly laugh. “It’s
good I can laugh about this now. I
couldn’t then. I kept pressing him that
he didn’t seem to care, yet I did, so why didn’t he care enough about me to
care what I think? He said I wasn’t
making a decision. I was starting to
burst, so I said too loud, ’Passing the menu is a simple way of saying I’ve already
decided!’ Oh, Mindy, when I said
that, so loud, all the background noise in the restaurant came to a halt into
silence.”
“Uh oh.”
“Yeah,” Jasmine sighs. “But I was still mad, so I clenched my teeth
and asked him in a whisper, why not say, ‘Either one is fine with me, darling,
which one would you like?’ So he did,
with extra juice to his own voice, and I, once again, emphasized chocolate.”
Mindy nods and smiles, clearly amused by her
friend’s attempt to reach her husband.
“Tim asked why I had to make it a game of it. I said it’s not a game, it’s a relationship.
He said it felt like a game and that it sounded like I wanted to make the
decision. I said only if I cared more,
so he asked if he had pulled out the trumpets and did a dance in favor of rum
cake, might I have gone with rum cake?”
Mindy smiles, curious. “Would you have?”
“I told him I might have, but he had studied the
menu so long he must not care as much as I do, and the person who cares most
should have a stronger say in the matter.”
With a nod, Mindy teasingly chuckles, “So maybe
pull out the trumpets?”
“The problem is I’ve spent twenty years stopping those
trumpets. They’ve been crushed since I
was eleven.”
“You’ve never really been given the chance to
have your own opinions, have you? So you
can’t just say you want the chocolate brownie?”
“I
think that’s it. So I used to like that Tim’s
decisive. And I used to not care if he
chose different from me. Now I care, and
I want him to listen and care about what I want.”
After another pause, Jasmine shakes her head. “It was just a decision about dessert, a
moment so simple, so seemingly small, yet it opened up a floodgate.”
The waitress arrives with a large silver bowl
swimming over with chocolate ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate sauce,
walnuts, and two cherries and places it in the center of the table, along with a
small platter and spoon to each friend.
Mindy eyes are wide. “It’s good we’re sharing.”
After a few spoonfuls, Mindy takes another spoon
into her mouth and holds it there. “Do you think Tim will start listening to
you?”
“Maybe.
Like I said at Intermission, he’s willing to listen, willing to be
challenged, and he not closed, but he’s also not the open, thinking at odds
type either.”
“Can you still think at odds, even if he
doesn’t?”
“Maybe.
But can I be the real me with him?”
“Big question.”
“I know.
I’ve changed since I fell for Tim.
To fall for him again, I’d either need to return to who I used to be,
and don’t want to be anymore, or he’d have to become someone new himself.”
“Why would he have to become new?”
“He’d have to be okay with arrows all over the
target. I’m letting myself think at odds
again, so I’m not hitting bulls-eyes.”
“Do you think Tim can flex with that?”
Jasmine smiles, amused. “You think the Church can flex with that?”
Mindy chuckles.
“Maybe I’m naïve. Remember, I’m
Presbyterian.” With an arm, shoulder,
and neck wave, she delightfully adds, “We flex!”
Trying to mimic Mindy’s arm wave, Jasmine chuckles,
“I’m too stiff for that!”
“Keep working it, Girl. You’ll loosen up!” Mindy, giggling, stands up
for a full body arm, shoulder, ribs, hip, and neck wave.
The four diners at the next table over, appearing
to be in their mid-20s and on a double date, cheer her on. One of the young men, brown-haired, pipes up. “You’ve got the moves!” With a chuckling blush, Mindy bows to them
and sits down.
Jasmine laughs. “I’ve got a ways to go before I can do that!”
“Maybe you just need to convert to Presbyterian!”
Mindy laughs.
“Maybe I do!”
Jasmine’s belly is now bursting in her laughter.
The friends calm down their laughs, breathe, and each
take a sip of water. Mindy swirls a
spoon of ice cream through her mouth, recalling a previous Girls’ Day Out. “Didn’t you say something about the Bible
saying Eve was cursed to long for her man?
So is this a good thing? Maybe
you’re not cursed anymore?”
“I would love to believe I’ve mastered Eve’s
curses!” Jasmine laughs. Crossing her arms around her chest in smug
position, she adds, “I won’t even have pain in childbirth!”
“Go you!”
“I do long for Davie,” Jasmine smiles sheepishly. “Don’t cheer me on yet.”
“Have you seen him since you were ‘ex-communicated’?”
“No, not at all.
It’s been three months. It’s
torture. You know when the Apostle Paul wrote
to the Philippians about how much he longed for them? We aren’t meant to be separated. Does the church realize the harm it does by
ordering the severance of a friendship?”
“It’s cruel.”
Mindy groans. “I can’t imagine
the Bible actually encourages such a thing.
And it violates the Natural Law that everything and everyone are
connected.” Mindy shakes her head in
disbelief. “How are you doing?”
“I’m tortured.
Tortured, but learning. You’re
right. I haven’t found anything in the
Bible that supports this order, and even the verse that was used against me to
support it was not only taken out of context, it skipped the rest of the
verse that supports maintaining contact and friendship. It was 2 Timothy 2:22. Do you catch all those twos? Two-gether.
We are to be two people to find harmony two-gether. We can still do the first part of the verse,
to flee the lust, while also doing the second part of the same verse, to pursue
a righteous relationship.”
“Are you going to do anything about it?”
“Maybe.
For now, I’m learning and praying.
I’m also praying that Davie will take that up. He’s on staff at the church. Will he do anything about it?”
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