The Tree of Duality

(The theme of duality has been a popular one lately, so this post and participants' comments can also be found at the Christian Mystics site.) 

“And the LORD God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden;
but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
for when you eat of it you will surely die."(Gen 2:16-17)

We’ve all heard the story: God commands Adam and Eve not to eat of a particular tree; the serpent entices them to eat it by arguing they’ll be “like God”; they eat it; they are cast out of Eden; and now we all suffer the consequences of their “Fall.”   The traditional script continues, in the logic of Augustine, to express that we all have been born into sin because our first parents ate from the fruit of the wrong tree.

Ironically, this “wrong” tree was called the “tree of knowledge of good and evil.”  One might expect “knowledge,” particularly of “good and evil,” to be a virtue, one that equips humans to be better equipped to make good choices.  So we face an irony in the traditional doctrine: we are “sinners” because our first parents “fell,” and they “fell” because they sought something typically designed to help humans avoid sin!

A few questions naturally arise:  Did they really “fall”?  Who was the “serpent”?  Was he really “deceptive”?  Would they really be “like God”?  If so, what does that mean?  And why would it threaten “God” so much that He would pronounce them dead?  Also, why would He command Adam and Eve against the knowledge of good and evil?  Years later, are not Christians encouraged to acquire exactly what Adam and Eve were commanded not to acquire?

“Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant,
is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness.
But solid food is for the mature,
who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”(Hebrews 5:13-14)

Once we begin asking these questions, we find ourselves in a never-ending cycle of paradox.  To use the same distinction noted in the tree Adam and Eve ate from, it is hard to know which figures in this story are really “good” and which ones are more “evil.”  One could argue that choosing to overcome ignorance for knowledge is “good.”  One could even argue that a command against something that ought to be “good” in order to protect one's own power is “evil.”

But what if none of the choices and none of the characters in this story are “good” and none are “evil”?  What if the story is more about evolution in consciousness and those very distinctions – good and evil – are teased in order to help us see in a new way?

The story tells us their “eyes were opened” (Gen 3:7).  This implies new development, new evolution.  Such development expresses what the mystic desires: a forward path with eyes that can see better.  But the story also suggests the cost of better eye sight.  Those eyeglasses aren’t free!  According to the warning given by God, this improved eye sight brings “death” and, according to the consequences, “separation.”  As soon as the eyes are opened, one blames the other: “she made me do it” (v. 12).  The illusion of separation begins.  The man and woman who had been one from a single body now see themselves as separate and perceive in “good and evil,” suggesting a new name for the tree from which they ate: "the tree of duality."

The separation incurred by the improved eye sight also suggests what had been perceived through poor eye sight: connection, harmony.  Before their eyes were opened, the man and woman not only felt unity between themselves, but also with God.  Afterward, they felt separation particularly from God.  This prompts us to return to the question of whether they “fell” or whether they “moved forward.”  If they had been in harmony and now they were not, traditional logic says they moved backward, they “fell.”  But prior to the separation, their eyes had been closed.  In essence, they had a blind sense of harmony.

What becomes hard for traditional logic to follow is the notion that a movement that brings separation and suffering can still be a movement forward, something positive.  But it would not be desired for the movement to end there.  The “death” that came to our first parents was a form of amnesia: a separation they perceived from the divine.  But God himself did not perceive this separation and wished to cure them of their amnesia.  So He issued the first command and the most important prayer, the “Shema”: “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one” (Deut 6:4).

The Shema may have helped the Hebrew people affirm the Oneness of God, but their own separation from the Lord continued to persist.   Through the greatest of blasphemies, Jesus then came to provide the next step: “I and the Father are one" (John 10:30).  If that weren’t enough, he went further on behalf of his followers: “I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one--as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me” (John 17:21).

When the eyes of our first parents were opened, a form of suffering and death resulted; it is to be expected that when our eyes open again, another form of suffering and death are to come.  Often, Jesus warned us to so prepare.

Just as many have a nostalgia for childhood, many also have a nostalgia for Eden.  There exists a wish to return to blissful innocence, spared from the conflicts of duality.  But perhaps this wish is rooted in part by an aversion to suffering.  But if we are willing to face the cost, even if it feels like a “fall,” then we can experience something much sweeter: a return to harmony with open eyes.

 © 2012 by karina.  All rights reserved.  Please use only with permission from the author.

Hidden Resurrection

We enter Holy Week on April Fool’s Day.  Delightful synchronicity for my musings.  Holy Week is often a time when we contemplate the Mystery of Resurrection.  Lately, I’ve also been contemplating “Hidden Resurrection,” such that the ignorant are “fooled" into perceiving that one who has come "alive" remains instead in his prior state, "dead."

The first story I discovered in scripture of “hidden resurrection” is the one of Isaac in  Genesis 22.  We imagine, like all the pictures depict, that Abraham and Isaac were alone on their journey.  But we discover in verse 3 that Abraham took not only Isaac, but also “two of his young men” to whom he says, “Stay here with the donkey, and I and the lad will go yonder; and we will worship and return to you” (5).  Perhaps they both do, but the text doesn’t say that.  Instead, after Isaac is freed, the text reads, “So Abraham returned to his young men” (19), suggesting Isaac’s absence.

Christian readers may roll their eyes at such an absurdly literal reading of this scripture, but the Jewish sages have made it common practice to observe the “plain text” and see what mysteries may lie there.  The Midrash apparently did ask, “And Isaac, where was he?” (Sasso, “What if the Angels should come too late?” in God’s Echo: Exploring Scripture through Midrash) Although the Midrash may have been more interested in why Isaac wasn’t mentioned, where he was, what he might have been doing, and how long he was absent ((traditionally answered as three years), what interests me is what the two young men may have thought.  To them, was Isaac dead?  Had they thought he had been sacrificed?  Were they aware he was alive?  If not, then Isaac experienced what I am calling a “hidden resurrection.”  Following the Midrashic interpretation, it could be that after three years, the young men discovered something extraordinary: April Fool’s!  He’s alive!

A New Testament corollary to Isaac’s “hidden resurrection” takes place for a little girl whom Jesus raised, but we’ll wait to share her story until A New Testament corollary to Isaac’s “hidden resurrection” takes place for a little girl whom Jesus raised.

"And one of the synagogue officials named Jairus came up,
 and upon seeing Him, fell at His feet,
and entreated Him earnestly, saying,
“My little daughter is at the point of death;
please come and lay Your hands on her,
that she may live”

(Mark 5:22-23)

The symbolism may have been far too controversial in the wake of the destruction of the Temple had the gospel writer chosen a Temple official for the worried father of the sick daughter in Mark 5.  Hence, a synagogue official provided a nice substitute.  Perhaps this following interpretation may be understood by the mystics, but I have never before heard it, so bear with my own discovery of the “daughter” of the synagogue official, who was “at the point of death” (Mk 5:23), as potentially representing the Temple.  True to form, the “daughter” apparently dies, but Jesus tells the father, “Be not afraid, only believe” (36).  When Jesus finds the people in “commotion,” “weeping” and “wailing,” he asks why they are making such a raucous and says, “The child has not died, but is asleep” (39).  In secret, he then raises the child to life and she begins to walk (41-42).  The few witnesses of the event (the parents and three disciples) “were completely astounded” (42).

Perhaps even more astounding is what he tells them: “He gave them strict orders that no one should know about this” (43).  Generally, we read this verse to mean that “no one should know” that the little girl was not yet dead.  What if, instead, we read it that “no one should know” she was raised to life?  In other words, according to the weeping and wailing people outside, she was still dead!  In this mystic reading, the ignorant weeping masses are fooled that she remains dead.  April Fool’s!  She’s alive!

Even today, the commotion surrounding this daughter, the Temple, continues with very literal “wailing” at the “Wailing Wall.”  Meanwhile, even orthodox Christians have adopted the mystical interpretation of the Temple as “raised” within us, the followers of Christ.  "Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?" (1 Cor. 3:16)

Still, Jesus foresaw a time of “sleep” for the new Temple he was raising among his own followers.  In the parable of the ten virgins, in fact, “all became drowsy and fell asleep” (Matt 25:5) – even, then, the “wise” ones.

Jesus' own resurrection, hidden from the many and revealed to the astonished few, continues to mystify us all.  As each of these, in some way, may be a hidden resurrection, so may be the series of little hidden resurrections within the mystic.  Then when the ignorant wakes, the two can look upon one another and laugh: "April Fool's!  We're alive!"

© 2012 by Karina Jacobson.  All rights reserved.  Please use only with permission from the author.

One Living Tree

 

Living Tree stood in the center of the heavens and the earth
He was one,
perfect, glorious
and alone.

Living Tree desired a partner,
a perfect opposite.
But Living Tree was one:
from where would a partner come?
Through Living Tree himself,
Creator carved out a perfect opposite
and Living Tree beheld her beauty

Living Tree breathed one
Making them two, his partner breathed two
Creator called them to unite
And the two became One

© 2012 by Karina Jacobson.  All rights reserved.  Please use only with permission from the author.

Inspiration for Blog Title, "Whispers of Mystery"

            My nickname for those mysterious, loving, and remarkably accurate voices that began coming to me in 2005 forms the inspiration for my blog's title.  I haven't blogged too many of them, but should introduce the story that led to these “whispers of mystery”: In 2004, after the birth of my second child, I was a basket case.  Almost every day was a challenge to get through, and I was terrified I’d hurt my older child, a toddler whose screams were intolerable, especially while trying to nurse my infant and juggle a relatively new career teaching college composition.  When my toddler would scream beyond what I could bear, I had to run to my room, lock the door, and scream louder than him to avoid hurting him.  That, of course, would freak him out and send him into an even greater tantrum.  I went to my doctor for help, and, not surprisingly, he diagnosed me with post-partum depression and prescribed me with Prozac.  I took it, but didn’t want to get addicted.  I wanted real help.

            On December 26, 2004, the day of the Indonesian Tsunami, our pastor asked whether we had asked God for a character gift for Christmas.  No?  Since we had not, he suggested in place of a New Year’s Resolution, we ask God for a character gift for the coming year.  That was a slam dunk suggestion for me, and I knew exactly which gift I wanted.  It came from 1 Peter 3:4: “a quiet and gentle spirit.”  I vowed I would pray every day in 2005 for a quiet and gentle spirit.  I did, and I was bold, and I begged: “I’m asking this is for the children You gave to me.  I need this gift so I can be a mom to the children you gave to me.”  I prayed it like a demand, often adding, “I want to go off this d*&% drug!”  In early May, I even fasted for it.

            On May 15, 2005, a day of 5-5-5 (5, Hei, is a window, symbolizing an opening into the divine realm) and – I discovered 7 months later – Pentecost Sunday, the Lord initiated the start of this gift and so much more.  I had asked only for a “quiet and gentle spirit,” not the myriad of additional gifts added on top of it.  I won’t share the story of that day, but it began a three and a half month bewildering experience I call “my summer in the twilight zone,” a journey of glories, terrors, memories from toddlerhood confirmed by my mom, and physical manifestations, that, for Evangelical Christianity, were thoroughly baffling.  At once, I was amazed by God and what the Holy Spirit was showing me, while I was also manifesting migraines (which I don’t usually get), vomiting, nightmares, and so forth.  Charismatic friends could explain the former, but not the latter.  That May 15 was Pentecost Sunday fit perfectly in their minds for the visions and auditory whispers, and they could explain the nightmares as “spiritual warfare,” but they couldn’t explain the sicknesses.  Many years later, I discovered another spiritual tradition that could, which calls it “spontaneous kundalini.”

            Three and a half months after I received the gifts that initiated my “summer in the twilight zone,” I completed my journey with a final experience.  It was August 30, 2005, and Hurricane Katrina was hammering New Orleans and flooding it out.  Except we were camping and didn’t know it.  Well, I knew something was happening.  My husband, two children, my mom and dad and I were all gathering in Oregon for a three day getaway in cabins without any internet, TV, radio, or even a newspaper.  On the day we arrived, Katrina had just hit Florida as a Category 1, and we thought that was it.  We didn’t know the turn Katrina was about to make into the Gulf, the steam it would build there, or the damage it would do to Mississippi and Louisiana.  After breakfast that morning, a gut pounding sickness like labor pains took over me and a whirl of visions of people screaming, “Help!”  I ran into the woods.

            My husband found me groaning by a tree stump, bent over with my arms crossed over my belly.  He said, “Honey, if something’s wrong, could you at least tell us?  We’ve been looking all over for you.  What happened?”  I said, “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.”  I walked back with him and met my angry mom.  “How could you leave without telling us?  What about your children?!”  I yelled back, “If you want to be mad, be mad at the Enemy, because something is happening and I don’t know what it is!” and I ran into the cabin, fell into my pillow and screamed into it.

            After that day, I was set free from my “summer in the twilight zone” and only one manifestation remained: the whispers of mystery.  Many of my friends had thought I was crazy, and for my family, the jury was out until that last day.  But what they saw on August 30, 2005, and then what they discovered from the news of that day convinced them: whatever was happening to me was real.  I was not crazy. 

 © 2012 by karina.  All rights reserved.  Please use with permission or a citation that links to this blog.

Momentary musings

Given that everyone is interested in 2012 and in making predictions over what this year means, I thought I’d throw my own two cents into the bucket, as that's probably about what it's worth!

So, by year’s end, we’ll rebuild the Tower of Babylon, fire up God’s rage, and then be blown away by a firebomb from the heavens.  All will be dead except for  a few who had been sporting bumper stickers warning of their pending rapture.  These will be left behind to sort through the miles of debris and start civilization again from scratch, for which they’ll recruit the help of robots and cockroaches. . . .

All right, all right.  That’s not really what I believe.

To me, it seems 2012 is more about what the “moment” we're in, as opposed to the “year,” and that this moment is one of internal transformation.  Given that the internal manifests itself externally, such a wave of internal transformation can bring about the rise and fall of civilizations.  However, many in the media may be “disappointed” that 2012 lacked the really great big news story they had hoped would define their careers -- even though the year should be anything but boring.  Still, at year's end, we may hear, “Ha!  Nothing happened in 2012!  Nothing changed!”  Ah, that’s because you don’t have eyes to see.

Though economic and political breakdowns are ripe for the world to experience this year, it may be that the most critical news for most will be more local, expressing internal upheaval in places closer to self, such as divorce, bankruptcy, drug overdose, illness, mental health breakdowns, accidents, suicide, and so forth.  Such personal crises can stimulate genuine transformation that is deeply liberating.  Just as divorce and illness rises, so do their complements for liberation: dreams, epiphanies, creative expressions, life-changing moments, and scientific discoveries, perhaps especially in physics, energy and medicine.  Such awakening recognizes that our strength lies not in external authorities and institutions but within ourselves.  As such empowerment gains traction, more rulers will be toppled and even leaders over small groups of people may suffer from these changes if they are too set in their ways or are holding onto too much pride. 

But true change is a long process.  We are in early stages in movements like the Arab spring and Occupy Wall Street.  I pray that this momentum gains the power of wise progress.  Occupy Wall St., thus far, is more a mob of complainers than it is a movement of genuine reform.  May this momentum evolve into genuine liberation.  

As the process continues, old methods of doing business will be increasingly seen as inefficient, impractical, and even damaging and the liberation working within many will seek to develop new methods.  This is already clear to those who are benefiting by the old methods and they have been working very hard to maintain the status quo.  May the plots begin to be foiled; may exposure come to those who have been hiding in secret places; and may truth be exposed for those who have been fed falsehoods.

Finally, we may be in a year, as we already have been recently, of "buried" news.  Some news may be buried because the mainstream media can't handle it; other news may be buried because it won't be seen as relevant to most audiences, and other news may be "unburied" and then "reburied."  For this latter, we can imagine archeologists "unburying" sacred texts and the media "burying"' the story until the texts are translated and delivered to the public.  I do pray that we see greater awareness and liberation in this new year.

Blessings of Light to all!

© 2012 by Karina Jacobson.  All rights reserved.  Please use only with permission from the author.

The Birth of the Mystic

The scriptures were written by the mystics, but interpreted by the religious.

Many of us began in a tradition that filled us with awe.  In time, we found ourselves conflicted.  We began to wrestle, ignorantly thinking that no question is a bad question – only to discover some questions are off-limits.  Why? we wondered.  Isn’t God big enough to take any question?  If we posed this one aloud, we may have drawn out special aggravation, as the answer is clear and implies the next question: Sure, but is the church?

Some of my own questions stemmed from the discord between the God I had discovered within my own heart and spirit and the one described by my tradition, as well as the one described by the scriptures, as interpreted by the religious.  Why, I wondered, did God harden Pharaoh’s heart?  Why would Jesus have prayed for Peter, but not for Judas, when Satan was “sifting” all the disciples as “wheat”?  ("Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat.  But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail." ~ Lk. 22:31-32)  And, the stumper for me: why would God command Joshua to commit genocide?

Posing the big questions can be dangerous, not only for the persecution it might bring from external forces, but even more for the internal persecution it can bring from our own internal forces.  Hence, we hear Dumbledore’s wise admonishment: “Curiosity is no sin, Harry, but one must exercise caution.”  According to the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus blessed those who were willing to persevere in this trial: “Blessed are they who have been persecuted within themselves.  It is they who have truly come to know the father” (69).

For a time, we wrestled on our own, posed our questions to the Lord in private, and pretended conformity within our tradition – only to betray our non-conformity from time to time.  We did not yet know we were mystics.  We were like “mystics in the womb”: yet to birth what was inside.  So in this season of Advent, we can celebrate not only the Birth of the Christ, but also the birth of the mystic.  This is the moment when the long nights of wrestling and struggling birth themselves into the daylight.  We awaken out of our human construct and into our identity as children who have discovered the great mystery: Christ in us. We begin to trust the Light within, follow it, celebrate it, and live into it.

But as newly birthed mystics, we face a new question: as we follow the Light within, do we remain with our tradition as well?  Our tradition, after all, did point us to this Light.  Our tradition taught us the sacred, hinted at the mysteries, and directed us to the scriptures.  Meanwhile, our tradition had also set itself up like a boat with the mission of carrying both the sacred contents and the sacred souls into eternal life.  But once the mystic in the womb is birthed, he discovers holes in the boat.

Upon such a discovery, many leave the tradition entirely – not only the boat, but everything in it.  Even those of us who haven’t done this ourselves know many who have.  When some of my friends ask my opinion about those among our mutual tradition who have left, I sometimes return their question with another:  Is it better to embrace or reject a false Christ?  Oops, a clearly “off-limits” question, which is usually followed by the more gentle, more deeply felt, critical question: who is the true Christ?

Most of us here are attempting that challenging, narrow, center path: embracing the sacred within the boat, releasing our need for the boat, and expressing love for the boat in spite of its holes. 

I am reminded of St. Paul who foresaw the sinking of the boat he was in and received a promise from an angel that while the ship would be lost, all lives on the boat would be saved.  Regardless of the future of each religious tradition in its outer form, the contents within – the worshipers and the mysteries, found within the worshipers, the scriptures, and the sacred rites – will forever live on and ultimately harmonize into a radiant Bride.

While we celebrate the birth of Christ during this Advent season, may we also celebrate our own birthing as mystics in the womb into mystics awakening into the Light.

© 2011 by karina.  All rights reserved.  Please use only with permission from the author.

In the Beginning (full story)

For friends to read the full story from beginning to end, without commentary, I've decided to post it in full here:

In the beginning, Mystery created the heavens and the earth.  He created man in his own image and it was good.  Then he created him from dirt, named him “Earth human,” and permitted him to name the animals.  But he was alone and it was not good.

From the man’s own flesh and bone, Mystery created a partner for the man and called her “Lifesaver.”  Having learned from Mystery how to name the animals, Earth human gave the woman a parallel name: “Life-giver.”

Mystery gave Earth human and Lifesaver bountiful abundance in a garden of harmony, where delicious fruits of all colors were at their bidding. Two special trees were planted in this garden of harmony: the tree of life and the tree of knowledge.  But Mystery forbid Earth human and Lifesaver from taking what he would later command them to seek: knowledge of good and evil.  If they ate the fruit of this tree, Mystery told them they’d receive the opposite of the other tree's fruit: death. Like any child who desires only that which is forbidden, Earth human and Lifesaver ate of this tree.

For Earth human, Mystery proclaimed the consequence of toil at work. Thorns and thistles would rise up for him whenever he tried to work the ground and make a livelihood for himself and his family.  Mystery cast the man and woman from the garden and then permitted the man to grow deeper and deeper into his curse.  Soon, he was not only battling thorns, but he was also nodding and staggering in a windy land.  In time, he battled thorns not only for his own livelihood, but also for an oppressive king who enslaved him.

Meanwhile, the man reduced the woman’s name from Mystery’s “Lifesaver” and even his own  Lifegiver” to a bewildering new name – “Helpmeet.”  This new version of “Lifesaver” confused the man so much that he further mistranslated her name as “Housecleaner,” “Cook” and “Secretary.”

Forgetting her original identity, Lifesaver toiled beside the man and for the man.  When her toil of the ground was done, she returned to continue her toil in the home.

But Sly Mystery knew in advance Lifesaver’s name would be forgotten.  “He will rule over you,” said Mystery to Lifesaver.  Mystery even knew his words to the woman would reinforce the curse.   “As it should be,” the man said.  “If Mystery said man will rule over woman, then man ought to rule over woman.”  Lifesaver balked, “But it’s a curse!” Still, the man didn’t catch Mystery’s ironic humor, even, or perhaps especially, when it was pointed out to him by the woman.

Even once Lifesaver caught Mystery’s irony, she still could not muster herself out of it.  After all, cunning Mystery was one step ahead of her and preceded the final curse with another: “you will desire your man.”  Lifesaver desired her man so much, she went to great lengths to capture him and keep him, and she found herself in a never-ending game of hide-and-seek.  Frustrated, Lifesaver turned to fairy tales, romance novels, and soap operas. Meanwhile, she spent herself into debt on clothing and  cosmetics to lure her man into staying with her.  But she never lived happily ever after.

In time, Mystery revealed his secret to Lifesaver: “Love me with all your heart.”  Jealous Mystery wanted Lifesaver to love him more than her man.  If she did, she could break her curse.

But Mystery was no quicker at romance than the earthly man he created.  “Love me,” whispered Mystery and then hid far in the distance, seemingly never to return.  Even the man could pick up a telephone more quickly than Mystery would send a wink.  “Who are you, Mystery?” Lifesaver asked.  “How can I love you if I can’t see you or know you?”  At least, if she chased him persistently enough, she could see her man, listen to him, touch him, and, best of all, be touched by him.  But Mystery went into hiding.  How could she love a being so inaccessible?  And how could Mystery possibly expect her to love him above her physical and ever so handsome man?

Lifesaver wasn’t the only one to wonder who Mystery was, where she could find him, how she could love him, or who she herself was.  While Lifesaver toiled to catch Earth human in her own forgetfulness, Earth human continued to toil the ground in his.  In much sweat, Earth human toiled the ground, battled the thorns, and bent down to remove the persistent weeds.

Exhausted, Earth human longed for a break.  He spotted a tree that looked familiar, with fruit that reminded him of the tastiest fruit he had ever eaten, the fruit of the tree of knowledge.  Afraid he’d certainly die this time if he ate of this twin tree, he dared not eat.  Instead, he sat beneath it, hoping to be sufficiently delighted by the mere scent of the delicious fruit.  Then something amazing happened: a fruit dropped on his head!  This time, without even eating it, the fruit gifted him with yet more new knowledge: gravity! Delighted in this new-found power, Earth human allowed this remarkable force to impart its full strength upon him.

Though initially delighted over his discovery, Earth human found he could not master it.  Gravity held a mysterious power over him, and he found himself drawn nearer and nearer to the ground.  The more he toiled, battled the thorns, and bent down to remove the persistent weeds, the gravity of the earth pulled him from an upright walk to a crawl. The more he drew to the dirt, the less he lived with the earth, and the more he crawled as an animal, the less he walked as a human.

Of dust he had been formed and to dust he returned.  Dust he ate and dust he believed he was.  No longer did he see himself as Earth human, but now he called himself “Dust animal,” made, he believed, of dust and darkness.

Initially, he found liberation in the new name he gave to himself.  By forgetting the divine breath of light within him and remembering only the dust which had formed him, Earth human felt released to live at the ground where gravity had drawn him.  “I’m only Dust animal,” he sighed and freed himself to live as such.

But Earth human could not live as Dust animal without suffering.  Indeed, he could live as Dust animal no more than an orange could live as an apple.  So his toil, misery, dissention with Life-saver, and conflicts with other men he also called dust animals continued to strengthen.  The more he toiled, battled thorns, fought the weeds, and warred with others, the more power gravity exerted upon him.  Finally, he called to Mystery to release him to transcend gravity.  Sitting in silence for some time, Earth human vowed to pester Mystery day and night for as long as it took.

One day while toiling and crying, Earth human heard a whisper through the breeze, “To transcend gravity, you must die.”  The message of the whisper perplexed Earth human.  Knowing not what to do, he continued in his life of conflict with Life-saver and with other men.  By living in his new name, Earth human also despised himself.  Still, he did not wish to die.  Groaning, he wondered how he could transcend gravity, love himself, and live too.  Earth human continued to cry for a way out.  Another whisper startled Earth human one day: “To love yourself, you must know yourself.”

“Now we’re talking,” thought Earth human. “I’ll be happy to ‘know myself’ as long as I get to live.”  So Earth human registered for a series of self-help and self-knowledge seminars, where Earth human was told he is great.  He was also advised to tell himself often that he is great, that he should make life choices as if he is great, and that he should undertake life with the expectation that he will be healthy, happy and rich.  Should he sufficiently believe it, he was told, then it will be so.

So Earth human tried to tell himself that he was great, he tried to make life choices as if he was great, and he tried to believe that he would live healthy, happy and rich.  And Earth human felt better.  But he made Life-saver mad, and his conflicts with fellow men also increased.

Whatever was the answer?  Could he ever be released?  Once again, Earth human cried to Mystery, and, once again, he waited.  At an unexpected moment in the field, Earth human heard another whisper: “To be released, you must die.”

“Die?!” Earth human exclaimed.  “Here we go again,” he groaned to the whisper, “your talk of dying.”  Frustrated, Earth human tried to reason with the mysterious voice: “I want to live!  I want to love myself!  I want to be released from gravity, and I do not wish to die!”

This time, the whisper replied immediately, and then left Earth human to ponder its final words: “To love yourself, you must know yourself, Earth human, but to know yourself, you must die.”

While Earth human contemplated his willingness to die, Lifesaver continued to wait for Mystery to romance her.  Both were doubtful, but desperate for Mystery to set them free from the power of gravity.  Meanwhile, Earth human continued to think of himself as Dirt animal, and Life-saver continued to live as a second-class helper.

Still separate and in conflict with one another, Earth human and Lifesaver nevertheless lived a parallel life, both confessing their distress to Mystery and crying for freedom.

Finally, Mystery presented the two with a glorious tree.  This one appeared to be a perfect mirror-image of another embedded deeply in their memory, one that held tasty but dangerous fruit, one that had brought them knowledge, but also duality and gravity.

Earth human had been longing for a twin tree, one that would bring the glorious complements of the former.  In place of knowledge, duality, gravity, Earth human dreamed of one that would bring wisdom, harmony, and transcendence.  “Could this be that tree?” wondered Earth human.  “It is that and more,” voiced the whisper.  “It is the Tree of Life.”

Was this tree also prohibited?  Could they safely taste of this fruit?  The tree, glowing in a warm, welcoming light, seemed to suggest they were invited to come.  The two walked closer, hoping for a chance to try a bite.

Suddenly, two great Warrior Angels, towering into the heavens, appeared, flashing swords of fire with the might and skill of Great Sword Fighters.  All strength left Earth human and Life-saver, and they fell heavy into sleep for days.

Upon waking, Earth human and Lifesaver observed that all was still.  The tree stood, but the Warrior Angels had departed.  The two were silent for some time.  “I guess this fruit is prohibited too,” teased Earth human.  “Guess so,” nodded Lifesaver, and they both laughed.  In unison, they chuckled, “We just laughed together!” and then they laughed again.  Finally reuniting, the pair locked hands and prepared to depart.

Just then, a warm breeze passed over them and carried a surprise: a fruit from the tree landed in the pair’s held hands.  Awestruck, they gazed at the fruit and then they gazed at one another.  “Is this Mystery romancing us?” wondered Lifesaver.

Taking a bite together, they opened their eyes wide with delight and surprise, and found themselves circling into one.  The uniting pair was stunned by the miracle of this gift.  They deserved it not and had done nothing to acquire such great wealth other than let Mystery know they were desperate.  Nevertheless, they were gifted with an extraordinary treasure.  Was this Mystery’s way of saying the fruit was theirs to eat?  Could they return for more?

Encouraged by the miracle, the pair took slow, cautious steps toward the tree.  Once again, the great Warrior Angels, girded with sword and fire, appeared.  “Wishful thinking,” sighed Earth human.  Quietly retreating, they took one careful step backward at a time.

The breeze picked up again and the pair heard the voice of the whisper, “Are you forbidden to eat of this tree?”  Almost coughing at a question so absurd, they exclaimed, “Of course!”  “Who says?” asked the whisper.  “Fire, Sword, and Warrior Angels do,” the two replied.  The whisper answered, “Then confront Fire, Sword and Warrior Angels.”

"Confront Fire, Sword, and Warrior Angels?” asked Earth human, astonished.  But the whisper remained silent.

Dumbstruck and terrified, the two slowly approached the Tree of Life and drew nearer and nearer to the Warrior Angels.  With each step, they lost more strength, began to stumble, and finally fell into a crawl.  Their faces were so flushed with the intense heat of the fiery swords, they appeared to one another to be glowing.  Within themselves, however, they felt part sick and part elated.  As intense as the fire was, they found themselves compelled to keep moving toward it.

Meanwhile, the Warrior Angels, fierce and terrifying, raised their swords high for battle.  Earth human and Lifesaver looked upon the swords in terror and then saw themselves ungirded for war.  “If these are Warrior Angels,” said Earth human, “then we must go to war!”

“No,” breathed the whisper, “you must love!”

“Is this how we are to confront Fire, Sword and Warrior Angels?” asked Earth human, “with Love?”

In silence, the whisper sent a cool breeze, refreshing Earth human and Lifesaver.  The pair looked upon one another and spoke in unison, “Then let us go forth in love.”  Hands clasped, they stood upright and took a strong step forward in faith and love.  The faces of the Warrior Angels no longer appeared fierce and terrifying.  Instead, Earth human and Lifesaver saw holiness and love in their eyes.

Even in holy love, however, the Warrior Angels pierced Earth human and Lifesaver with their swords.  The pair was cast down and shattered.

When the sun arose, the pair awoke.  No longer did they see themselves as Dirt animal and second-class helper.  No, they knew themselves to be Earth Human and Lifesaver and they knew they had never been ungirded, for the sword had been with them all along.  But to use it, they needed to love.  And to know it, they needed to die.  They pulled a fruit from the tree and enjoyed a taste so heavenly, they could never have imagined such a taste.

Some may think their story ends here, “happily ever after,” with endless opportunities to eat more of the heavenly fruit.  But their story is not like this.  Sometimes, they try to grab from the tree, and they cannot.  Sometimes, when they eat of the fruit, they taste not sweetness, but bitterness.  They are perplexed that this most delicious, most remarkable of all fruits can still, at times, be evasive and still, at times, taste sour.  But now that they have eaten of this most heavenly of all fruits and now that they have tasted into its delicious core, they can never go back.  Their new journey has begun and the two-become-one will be ever returning for another taste into the very core of this remarkable, delicious fruit of paradox.

 © 2011 by karina.  All rights reserved.  Please use only with permission from the author.