Introducing "Just like Eve"

Breaking from its traditional non-fiction format, whispers of mystery is currently following Karina’s fictional novel, Just like Eve. Karina began the themes explored here in 2008, in a non-fiction book she titled The Feminine Mystery, alluding to Betty Frieden’s 1963 classic, The Feminine Mystique, which explores what Frieden calls “the problem that has no name” -- a problem Karina believes is Eve’s second curse to desire her (earthly) man, not sexually, but as a completion to her. Realizing her discoveries were too controversial for non-fiction, Karina decided to clothe her message in fiction, which is not her forte. For years, she tried many story-lines and faced much writer’s block. In late 2017, she birthed Just like Eve, utilizing a backdrop she could write about with her own sport of tennis, mixed into the storyline of her heroine getting kicked out of church for being the object of the youth pastor's temptation. In April, 2018, she took a step of faith to pray the Spirit would inspire her with an entry to post every month. Her prayers have been honored.

Take a sneak preview of Jasmine’s discoveries

Start Just like Eve at the beginning

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Sunday, October 20, 2019

19 (4b): Coaching from the Sidelines

(While "Coaching from the Sidelines" is the 19th selection, it belongs between selections 4 and 5.)

February 16, 2012

            Driving home from Mixed Doubles Night, Jasmine wonders whether she should be upset with Davie, or the elders, or both.  Davie did not make it tonight, nor did he text that he’d be gone.  Was that his choice or the elders’?  Will he miss every week or just this one?  Will he let Jasmine know?  In the past, if he couldn’t make it to Mixed Doubles Night, he’d text her at least by their group’s Yoga Room stretching time, and usually sooner.  It was a simple heads-up: Sorry, you’ll have to hunt for another partner tonight.  The Mixed Doubles group had Courts 1 through 3, and sometimes 4, reserved every Thursday from 7-9 pm.  Since the Yoga Room cleared out at 6:30, the group made it standard practice to meet there at 6:45 for chit-chat and stretching.  Late players sometimes texted some other player at that time.  But Davie didn’t text anyone tonight, not Jasmine, not BD, not anyone.  That’s not like him.
            Will Jasmine see him again?  Cast out of Quail Canyon, she won’t see  him at church.  Maybe she’ll no longer see him at Glendale Racquet Club either.  Is tonight a one-time breather, or did Davie receive a permanent order from the elders to quit the Mixed Doubles group, just as she had received an order to leave the church?  What is to come of her and her mixed doubles partner?  Or should she say former mixed doubles partner?
            They haven’t even had a “break-up.”  And if they’ve never had an official “break up” of their mixed doubles partnership, along with whatever else one might call the rest of their relationship, Jasmine is sure to blame the elders for that.  Davie would never end it like this.  He’d have a real conversation with her, looking her deep in the eyes with sorrowful regret.
            Jasmine can remember only one other time when she hadn’t received a heads-up text from Davie, and it wasn’t on a no-show day.  It was on a day he arrived late – and for good reason.  Stopped at a red light, Jasmine sets free her tortured mind to nostalgically recall that evening almost seven months earlier in late July, 2011 . . .
By the time Davie arrives to Mixed Doubles Night on that last Thursday of July, all three courts are deep into close sets.  The points are carrying long rallies, the games are holding multiple deuces, and the sets are close.  Jasmine’s court, Court 3, is at 4-4, and from what Jasmine can hear from Courts 1 and 2, the other sets appear to be about as tightly matched.  Not only are all three courts playing tight, competitive sets, the numbers had been perfect for Mixed Doubles Night at exactly 12 – until Davie arrives.  He makes the awkward 13th.  Besides that, he hadn’t texted any of the players during Yoga Room stretching.  Based on the group’s rules, he might have to sit out the night.  Late players are welcomed to play if either they tell someone they’ll be late, or if they’re needed.  For Davie on this July night, neither is the case.
            It doesn’t seem to bother him.  When he arrives, he appears exhausted.  Something must be be up.  He approaches Jasmine’s court, and she looks at him puzzled.  “You all play.  I’ll just watch.  It’s been a long day.”  Jasmine had found a partner, Stephen, and they were playing against Todd and Gabbi.  The best seating is by Court 1, but Davie sits down at the bench with the broken leg by Court 3.
            Gabbie takes her serve game to pull her and Todd ahead 5-4, and the group breaks for water and a side switch.  “What made your day so long?” Stephen asks Davie, who stands up to join the players.  Taking a breath, he replies, “I’ve been counseling a teen who has been finding his escape in drugs, but is starting to ask for help.  Confidentiality.  Can’t say much more.  But this kid’s whole story is complicated.  He can’t escape the drugs until he faces all that crap that got him into drugs in the first place.”  Davie lets out a heavy sigh.  He appears to have taken on some of the kid’s trauma.  That’s just like Davie, Jasmine thinks.  His heart is too big.
            Davie’s face begins to relax.  Perhaps he just needed Stephen to ask the question so he could answer it and breathe out a couple of sighs.  He sits back down on the bench, catching his balance after the bench tilts upon Davie’s weight coming down too close to the bench’s broken leg.  Davie’s chuckle is joined by the Court 3 players, and he moves to the side of the bench with the two functional legs.  “You’re risking your life on that bench, you know?” Todd teases.  “Yeah, I know,” Davie replies with a smile.  “I must love you guys a lot, huh?”  Jasmine catches his eyes and smiles at him.  Davie smiles back, raising his eyebrows at her.  Jasmine’s heart flutters.
            Now seated on the sturdy side of the bench, Davie lets his body relax into a laid-back position to enjoy the rest of the set.  It’s now Jasmine’s turn to serve.  “You got this, Jazzie!” Davie calls to her as Stephen tosses a second ball to her for the serve.  She catches it, nods to Stephen, looks over to Davie, smiles at him, and he casts back a wide grin, a nod, and a thumbs up.  Jasmine’s game improves throughout her service game as he roots her on, cheering as her best fan.  At 15-30, she’s at back court and has just hit one toward Gabbi, who is at the net.  “Up!” Davie calls to her, and Jasmine rushes the net in time for Gabbi’s short volley to the alley, which Jasmine drop shot spins for an even shorter centered shot, which Gabbie can’t reach in time, to tie up the point 30-30.  “Hey, no calling out from the peanut gallery, OK?!” teases Todd with a wink to Davie.  “OK, I’ll be good,” Davie smiles with a wink back to Todd.
            Davie stays true to his promise, but only to the letter, not to the spirit.  He still sends gestures, muffled code words, and, most of all, his electric energy to Jasmine.  At the second deuce, she nails the backhand volley he had just coached her on the previous week when the two played singles.  Davie throws himself out of his seat into a standing cheer and cries out, “Yes!  Jazzie, that’s it!” Jasmine smiles, accepts Stephen’s high 5, and then returns the ritual high 5/low 5 from Davie, who is standing a mere foot and a half away from alley.  If Todd thinks that should also be prohibited, he doesn’t speak up.  Now it’s ad-in.  Time for Jasmine to clinch up this set.  “You got this, Jazzie, you got this,” Davie whispers.  With Davie’s energy poured into her, Jasmine sends a powerful spin serve to Todd’s backhand, putting him on the defense and giving Stephen the chance to volley-slam Todd’s return – that favored one-two punch to win the set.  Now the sets are tied up: 5-5.
            Jasmine notices Davie watching her the entire time.  What catches her attention are those filler moments between points when the players are collecting balls, sending them to the server, getting into position, and doing nothing that should draw attention to any of them.  At one of those times when she’s positioning herself at the net, she sees Davie from the corner of her eye.  He’s looking at her fondly.  Does she know she can see him too?  Seemingly not, as he doesn’t look away.  He continues to watch her.  Jasmine returns her eyes to the front and readies herself at the net.  Stephen and Todd carry out a rally, and neither is letting the net player in.  Once, when repositioning herself, Jasmine manages to catch a glimpse of Davie out of the corner of her eye.  His eyes are on her.  She’s not the one playing the point, but she’s the one he’s watching.  His look appears to be of admiration, almost as if he’s charmed by her.  Is she imagining that?  Is he watching her because they’re about to enter a USTA Tournament as mixed doubles partners, or is there something more to his interest?
© 2019 by karina.  All rights reserved.  Please use only with permission from the author.

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

Climax: Love 30, Part 4

Here begins the final installment of the climax. It will come later in the book, but I had to write it now in order to build everything around it.

          Davie turns off the engine of his car and looks deep into Jasmine’s eyes.  Jasmine senses he can’t stop, that he’s drawn to her, entranced by her.  She gazes back, takes a deep breath, lifts her purse, and draws out her car key.
“Let me,” Davie says, as she’s about to open the car door.  He races around the car to open her door from the outside and extends his hand to help her out. 
Lightning strikes.  The two look at one another astonished.  No storm had been predicted.  Davie smiles, “I love storms.”
Already, Jasmine senses the extra electricity in the air.  “Me too,” she replies.  “My family says I’m the odd duck on this too.  My big sister and little brother pulled blankets over their heads during a storm.  I ran out to our front patio deck to take in that oxygenated, electric air.  When I was really brave, I ran out to the sidewalk and danced.”
Davie laughs, “Me too.  Well, not quite dancing, just standing with my arms and head raised up high so the rain beat down on my face.  Do you notice during and just after a thunderstorm, the air is alive, vibrant, pulsating, electric?” 
Jasmine bursts, “I can feel the electricity of the lightening all up and down my arms.  And if the rain pounds hard, all that water fills the air with extra oxygen.  You breathe in this crisp, oxygenated air.  I have to go out and let my body soak it all in!”
“You too?!”
“I do.  My husband says I’m crazy.  I tell him to come out and feel the electric air and breathe in the extra oxygen from the rain, and he shakes his head, shrugs his shoulders, and say he’ll just let me represent both of us out there.”
Davie laughs.  “I wish I could get Pam out there with me.  It was the same with my mom, dad, and little brother.  They tremble at a thunderstorm, and when I was racing out to enjoy it, my brother’s eyes got big.  My dad would scold, ‘You’re no Ben Franklin!  You could get electrocuted!’  I’d scream back, ‘He had a kite and a key and he still lived!’  Then for added emphasis, I’d take off my belt and watch and throw them to him, ‘Here!  Take my belt, take my watch.  I have nothing the lightening wants.  I’ll be fine!’  He knew this was not a battle worth picking.  He’d give me a knowing smile and nod, like he was warning me only because that’s what Mom wanted him to do, and then he’d let me go.  And watch me from the window, mostly for Mom’s sake.”
“It’s good your dad got it.  Nothing can keep those of us who love storms away from them.”
“Right,” Davie smiles.  “You just have to be smart.  Take off your belt, your watch.  Leave your cell phone inside.  And If it gets too fierce, take some cover.”
“As long as it’s not under a tree!”
“You know it!” Davie laughs.  “Stay away from the trees, telephone poles, and anything that draws the lightening.  Then go out and enjoy the hell out of that storm!”
Jasmine can’t believe Davie just use the word “hell.”  She likes him even more because he did.  He loves storms, he’s willing to say “hell,” he thinks at odds, he plays a kickass game of tennis, he directs a thriving youth group with his spiritual wisdom and  youthful spunk, he doesn’t like Noah, and he sides with Abraham, Moses, and Jacob for arguing and wrestling with God.  Could there be anything else in a man Jasmine would like better?
They both gaze into one another’s eyes.  This air, in the close presence of Davie and the lightening, is even more alive, more vibrant, more pulsating, more electric than any air Jasmine can ever remember in her life.
She smiles, looks into his eyes, and says, “Happy Birthday, Love 30.”
Davie cradles his arms around Jasmine’s arms, gazes back into her eyes, shakes his head while looking up, returns his gaze to her eyes, and expresses, as if in disbelief, “It’s been one of the happiest ever.” 
He picks up Jasmine’s hand and kisses the back of it, like gentlemen did in days long past.  Jasmine’s heart flutters.  She squeezes his hand and moves in closer.  The two have shaken hands many times after tennis matches, but they’ve never before touched hands like this.
Davie takes a deep breath and looks up to the sky.  He’s torn.  Jasmine can see in his eyes what he wants and she can feel in his tight grip on her hand his hesitation.
What should she do?  If he gets bold to lean into her, will she let him do it, or can she resist him?
Jasmine doesn’t think she can resist him, but maybe she’s strong enough not to encourage him.  Just don’t encourage him.  Don’t nod, don’t pull him in, don’t lean into him.  If you can just stay still, you’ll do your part. 
Davie looks down again, takes another deep breath, and looks into Jasmine’s eyes again.  Jasmine can’t help but gaze deep back into them.  She’s tightening her arms to keep herself from pulling him into her, but in no way can she resist him.  If he pulls into her, she’s done for.
Davie looks at her again and smiles.  She smiles back, letting her eyes dance.   Davie might have passed the Obedience stage Noah was in, but can he be obedient now?  Jasmine wonders about herself too.  Where is her whisper of mystery?  Usually, in precarious situations like this – and this is one of the most precarious of her life – her whispers of mystery come through reliably.  Not this time.  Whisper?  Spirit?  Where are you? 
Silence.  Jasmine wonders if the silence suggests an endorsement.  If the Holy Spirit wishes to stop her, wouldn’t she get a whisper?  A warning?
She’d better take this situation on her own inner guidance.  Just don’t encourage him.  Perhaps she can at least do that.  She can’t take her eyes off of him, she can’t remove her hand from his, but maybe she can keep her head still?  Perhaps she’s strong enough to remain still.  In no way is she strong enough to resist.  Davie please come into me.  If you come to me, I won’t resist you.
Lightning strikes again.  The two glance up to it, still thrilled and astonished.  Davie takes another breath and returns his gaze to Jasmine.  Thunder strikes.
“The storm’s really close,” Davie whispers, while leaning in closer to Jasmine.  She nods, letting her eyes speak to him: You can kiss me.  I’ll let you kiss me.
The rain suddenly bursts upon them.  If Davie is going to kiss her, he’ll have to do it right now.  You can do it, Davie.  I’ll let you kiss me.
Davie leans his lips toward Jasmine’s and pauses.  Will she come closer or pull away?  Jasmine remains still, but smiles and keeps her eyes dancing and fixed upon his.  Kiss me, Davie.
Davie leans in all the way and kisses her on the lips.  Three soft pucks on the lips.  He pauses and she remains still, smiling.  He leans in again, gives her another soft puck, then he opens his mouth wider.  His tongue has come into Jasmine’s mouth, and Jasmine feels the energy of the most electric tingles of her life.  Never before has she felt a kiss like this.
Davie pulls away and looks at Jasmine astonished.  What had they just done?
Noah, they were not. 
No, they were like Jacob: they had wrestled in their relationship for a long time.  Now, they were walking away.  Alive and limping.

© 2019 by karina.  All rights reserved.  Please use only with permission from the author.
Begin Love 30 Climax

Friday, August 23, 2019

Climax: Love 30, Part 3

Part 3 of 4 of the climax. It will come later in the book, but I had to write it now in order to build everything around it.
Jasmine is stunned by Davie’s choice of words, ‘thinking at odds,' the very phrase her family used to berate her.  Just like his response to her Noah question, he seems to be hinting to her that what she’s been ashamed of, she should instead be proud of.  Further, she had never known Davie had been born in India.  He was getting more interesting moment by moment.  Jubilant he had offered her a ride, Jasmine sent up a thank you prayer that God had helped her forget to gas up her car.  How did she get so lucky to have him all to herself for those two fifteen minute drives to and from Glendale and TGIFs? 
The last to leave the party, Davie and Jasmine picked up the cake, cards, and the group gift package: three sets each of tennis balls, replacement grips, and, most notably, the natural gut tennis strings Davie loves.  It was Jasmine’s idea to have the group pool funds together for three sets of each, one for each decade of Davie’s life, with the tennis strings as the highlight.  Natural gut’s not cheap, but a youth pastor’s salary is, so Jasmine knew Davie couldn’t get afford this luxury too much.
            “Did you let Pam know you’d be late?” Jasmine feels a pang in her heart as she speaks the name of Davie’s wife.  “Yeah, I texted her and she replied to have fun, so she’s cool with it.”
Once in Davie’s car, Jasmine wonders if she can ask another, related forbidden question she learned never to ask in Sunday school.  By now, she’s almost convinced he, like her, is a closet progressive and, today, he revealed he’s also been “thinking at odds.”  Why not take the plunge and ask him the big question?  Jasmine takes a deep breath.  Davie looks at her, smiles, raises his up his eyebrows twice, and asks, “What’s on your mind?”
“Here’s what I really want to know,” Jasmine begins, slowly.
“Go on.”
“OK here goes.  Why do we worship a God who drowns the world?”
Davie smiles and winks at Jasmine.  “Your heart fits better with Abraham.” Jasmine gives Davie a curious look.  “And Moses.” Go on.  You’ve got my attention.  “And even Jacob.”  I’m listening.
“OK,” Davie says, “Let’s start with Abraham.  God wants to destroy the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.  Every man, woman, and child.  God’s ticked.  They’ve been wicked, perverse, evil, disgusting.  God wants them all gone.  He tells Abraham.”  Jasmine nods, entranced.  Little does Davie know he has just brought up another of her favorite stories – another one she almost got in trouble for.
“Abraham thinks God’s gone over the top.  He even tells him so.  ‘Far be it from you to do such a thing!’ he cries out to God.  He starts to bargain with God.  Would God spare the cities if fifty good men could be found?  God agrees and said He’d spare the cities.  Abraham takes it down to forty, thirty, twenty, and then Abraham really gets bold and asks if God would spare the cities if even ten good men could be found.  God agrees.  Abraham wins.”
Still quiet, Jasmine nods.  Davie continues.  “Then there’s Moses.  Remember it was God who had called Moses to free His people.  Moses: an old man with a bad temper and poor speech.  Moses thinks God is crazy for sending him to free the Hebrew people from the hand of the Egyptian King, but Moses does what God asks.  He fights with Pharaoh, he performs miracles before Pharaoh, and he leads the people on a very dangerous journey out of Egypt.  After crossing the Red Sea, escaping Egypt, wandering through the desert, and going hungry and thirsty, the people were grumbling.  They’d had enough.  Where was this supposed ‘Promised Land’ and when would they finally arrive?  To them, this was one promise broken.  Then Moses goes up a mountain and doesn’t come back.  At least not soon enough for the Israelites.  Now they’re really mad.  So they carve out a calf from their gold.  This makes God mad, so God tells Moses He’ll destroy them.  Moses, himself fed up with the people he’s been commissioned to lead, nevertheless appeals on their behalf to God.  Once again, God relents.”
Jasmine smiles.  She’s getting more captivated by Davie with each statement. She can hear the pastor in his voice, but he’s not like any pastor she’s grown up with. 
Davie flicks his turn signal into the Glendale  parking lot.   “And Jacob?” Jasmine asks.
“Now Jacob’s different,” Davie says, with suspense in his voice.  He seems to want to keep Jasmine glued to the conversation.  Will they keep talking in his car for a while?  “He doesn’t bargain with God on behalf of anyone else.  He just doesn’t let up with God until he gets what he wants.”  Jasmine nods.  “The story of Jacob’s encounter with God is truly mysterious, and to some, the most mysterious encounter in the Bible.”
Davie pulls next to Jasmine’s car, then whispers, “Actually, the Bible is filled with mysterious encounters; it’s loaded with them, but people don’t see them.  I think there are many encounters more mysterious than this one with Jacob, but since most people don’t see those ones, this is the encounter that many consider to be the most mysterious.”
            I’m listening.  Go on.  “Jacob’s on this journey.  He’s alone – again.  When Jacob is alone, something mysterious is likely to happen.  The last time Jacob had been alone, he came to a spot the Bible calls ‘a certain place.’  I think that phrase, ‘a certain place’ is a clue.  It’s purposefully ambiguous, but also a hint: this is a special place with special energy.  God doesn’t come to just any place, only certain ones.  That’s where Jacob had his dream of the ladder.
            “Now Jacob is alone again in another ambiguous, mysterious place,  and he encounters what the Bible says is a ‘man,’ and he wrestles this man.  All night long he wrestles him.  Apparently, he loses because when they’re done, Jacob is limping, but Jacob considers it a victory, because he doesn’t die.  The whole story is weird.  Ordinary wrestling matches don’t last more than a few minutes – maybe ten minutes for an extra long one.  But this one lasts all night long.  And Jacob is happy that he did not die.  Whoever this man is who Jacob wrestled is no ordinary man.  That’s the mystery part.  Who is this ‘man’?  If this ‘man’ were just a man, then why, after Jacob wrestled him, would he have called him ‘God’?”
            “Yeah, curious.”
            “I find Jacob’s wrestling match both mysterious and a sign that Jacob is a true biblical hero.”
            “OK, I’m following you.  How does he differ from Noah?”
            “He doesn’t give in.  Can you imagine an all-night-long wrestling match?”
            Jasmine shakes her head. 
“You think you might give up sometime around 2 am?” 
Jasmine nods. 
“How about 3 am?  4 am? 5 am?  When do you think Noah would have given in?” 
“Right away.”
Jasmine smiles.  Now she’s really entranced by this athletic, thoughtful youth pastor who thinks at odds like she does.
            “So you think if Noah had tried to wrestle God or bargain with Him, God might not have flooded the whole planet?”
            “Maybe not.”
            “OK,” Jasmine nods, thinking it through.  “I still don’t like Noah.  But at least that makes God look a little better.” 
Davie grins.  At the expense of Noah, he’s made a small victory for God. 
“But for many Noah is still considered a hero,” Davie continues, “because they remain in the spiritual evolution of obedience.  Some people catch early in life the essence of what is good, learn obedience quickly, and can move onto lessons of love.  You’re one of them.  But those people can sometimes annoy the people who have to learn obedience.”
Jasmine is marveling.  Does he ever get her and her life story.  Why had they not met before they were both married?
© 2019 by karina.  All rights reserved.  Please use only with permission from the author.

Thursday, July 11, 2019

Climax: Love 30, Part 2

As noted in Love 30, part 1, this section, especially this following first ever selection from Davie’s point of view, is likely to come later in the book, but is getting written now to set everything else into place.
Is that a blush?  Davie hopes so, but Jasmine speaks before he can be sure.  “If Noah had a bumper sticker for his Ark, I wonder what it would say?”
“Hmmm,” Davie’s pleased and challenged with her riddle.  “Something like, ‘This Ark Obeys God’?  Or ‘Real Men Build an Ark’?”
“Something like that,” Jasmine smiles.  “How about ‘Are you Ready for the Great Flood’?”
“Now we’re getting somewhere,” Davie replies, but let’s add to it: “My children are ready for the Flood.  Are yours?”
“I like that,” Jasmine smiles.  Then, mischievously, she smiles.  “How about a twist on the Jewish Carpenter: ‘My Boss is a Global Destroyer.’”
“I know.  Too much.  Maybe he played tennis.  How about this one: ‘This Ark is ready for the Dunk Smash/How about you?’” 
“I like it,” Davie laughs.  “But only tennis players would get it.  Here’s one. ‘If the Flood comes tonight, Will you Float or Drown?’” 
“That’s it!” 
They both laugh heartily.  This is why Davie likes Jasmine so much.  She’s a thinker, she’s compassionate, and she has a sense of humor.  Even her cynicism is rooted in compassion.  She’s a killer tennis player too.  Davie loves it when she sends their opponents far into the alleys, perfectly setting him up for an overhead smash.  On and off the court, she’s just his style.  Why hadn’t they met ten years ago?
Never before has he met a Christian girl who questions Noah, let alone one at the tender age of 11.  He loves that spirit, that interest, and that desire to transcend basic obedience.  Still, there’s a pastor in him too.  He feels like he should stick up for Noah, at least a little bit, even if he’s not particularly fond of this biblical “hero.”  Like Jasmine, he feels Noah wimped out too early to save the world.  Couldn’t he have saved at least a few people outside of his own family?  Still, for Noah’s moment in the evolution of spiritual history, he didn’t do too bad.  At least he didn’t die in the Flood.  And, he saved a bunch of animals.
Davie wonders how he can lead into a way to save face for Noah, while maintaining that energy he’s sharing with Jazzie.  If he’s really good, maybe he can even catch another blush.
“You were quite a precocious girl.”  Davie smiles and winks at Jasmine as they are approaching the front door of TGIFs.  Davie can’t discern a blush on Jasmine’s face, but at least she smiles and squints her eyes with curiosity.  “In youth, one’s goal is obedience,” Davie says, stopping in front of the door.  “In maturity, it’s love – even if it means breaking the rules.  Maybe Noah represents youth in humanity’s evolution.  The world was young, so the lesson was obedience.  Now we’re older and our lesson is love.”
Jasmine looks interested.  Davie continues, “Many Christians don’t catch that there is not one right way for all people to behave.  On many matters, our decisions of what is upright is individual.  For example, some can drink, some can't.  Paul explains this freedom in Romans 14.   I would take the notion beyond what Paul says, though.  How we should act depends not only on our circumstances, but also on where we are on our life path.  The right course of action early in life, when one still has much growth left in life, can impede a person later in life.  So some people learn in youth, ‘This is how you behave,’ and they’re still behaving like that when they’re older.  But by then, they should be behaving different.”
“And some of them make it worse, don’t they?” Jasmine asks with a wistful nod.   “They judge people who aren’t behaving that way, even—“
“--if they’re already passed that point.” Davie finishes, in perfect tandem with Jasmine.  They chuckle, Davie winks, and Jasmine, most certainly, is blushing.  Opening the door for Jasmine, Davie holds his eyes and smile on her.  “You were already grown up when you were 11.”

When the two walk into the party room, Davie is struck by the decorations, the care, and the attention that has gone into the d├ęcor of his birthday party.  A sign is posted on the wall behind the table in handwritten markers, reading “LOVE 30!”  It’s framed on both sides of the message with three yellow tennis balls.  The Love 30 theme is also accented with red heart-shaped helium balloons with “30” in black lettering floating above the table. 
On the table is a chocolate cake, decorated mostly in blue letters, also reading, “LOVE 30,” with two exceptions: the “O” of “LOVE” is in red and drawn as a heart and the “0” of “30” is in yellow and nice and round, more like a capital “O,” to depict a tennis ball.  Astonished by how it feels to be so celebrated, Davie realizes it might not be so bad the group determined it’s his 30th birthday.
“Who made the cake?”
BD points to Jasmine, who smiles coyly and lifts her hand for a slight wave.  “I LOVE it,” he replies with a deep smile to Jasmine.  Her eyes twinkle and Davie thinks he’s just caught yet another blush.  What a beauty Jasmine is when she blushes.  How many more of these can he catch tonight?  He feels magic in the air. Watch yourself, Davie.  This night could get dangerous.

 “You have quite the digital birthday, tomorrow, don’t you, Davie?” Steve asks as all the party-goers are finding seats.  “1-2-0-2-0-1-2.”
            “At least it’s not 1-2-2-1-2-0-1-2!” Theresa teases.
            “Right! Then he’d be 30 and dead!”  BD exclaims to the group’s laughter.
            Davie leans into Jasmine, pressing his arm and shoulders into hers to whisper, “I wonder what the SUV owner thinks?”
Jasmine chuckles and bends even closer into him to whisper her reply.  This is better than a blush.  Davie feels tingles and a little arousal running through his body.  The night is getting dangerous, but he has no desire to retreat from it. 
“I bet he’s hoping!” Jasmine whispers into his ear.  “He can’t wait to de-man his car!”
BD asks, “What are you two talking about?”
“The owner of this SUV parked too close to our spot was sporting a bumper sticker,” Davie replies.  “’Warning: ‘In case of Rapture, this vehicle will be de-manned.”
“Oh, one of those!” BD exclaims.
“We’re wondering what bumper sticker we should put on top of that one?” Davie poses to BD.
BD might be anti-church, but he knows the lingo, and suggests, “In case of Rapture, this driver will be Left Behind?”
The three nod in agreement.  Davie’s a pastor, so he shouldn’t be scoffing at those who believe in the Rapture, but he’s also irked their attitude about it gives Jesus a bad rap.

“Hey look at this, Davie,“ Gabbie holds up the napkin she’s just written on.  In nine years, your birthday will be both digital and have onomatopoeia: 1-2-0-2-0-2-1.”
            Steve teases, “Digital.  Symmetrical. Does that make you square?”
            “Not square.  Confused.  I can’t decide whether to be Capricorn or Aquarius.”
            BD gives Davie and quizzical look.  “I didn’t know you believed in that stuff.”
            “Not really, but  confused between two birth signs, whatever they might mean, does fit.”
            “What do the astrologers say you are?” Mindy wondered.    
“They say I’m Aquarius.  I was born in India on January 20, the first day of Aquarius.  My parents had decided to start out their life as missionaries there, but didn’t intend to stay longer than a year.  When their assignment was almost done, they were offered a second year, took it, got pregnant, and then had their baby – me – two months before they were done.  Then when I was two months old, we moved to Colorado, where I’ve lived the rest of my life -- and would have been born Capricorn.”
“Interesting,” Steve replies. “What do the astrologers say about that?”
“They say that means I was meant to be born in the East, as Aquarius.”
“Do you feel more Aquarian or Capricorn?” Gabbie asks.
“I feel confused.  Like a walking paradox who can’t decide.  I feel like I’m always thinking at odds.”

© 2019 by karina.  Please use only with permission from the author.

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Dream: My Alzheimer’s Dad explains Alzheimer’s

            On March 11, 2014, my dad passed away, after battling Alzheimer’s since the turn of the millennium.  He came to me in a dream a couple of weeks ago, early into the morning of Memorial Day.  Although he had died not in war, but battling Alzheimer’s, when I started to record the dream into my journal, I was struck by how fitting it was that Dad had chosen Memorial day as the morning to come to me in a dream.  
Biographical background: Dad was a computer engineer with a brilliant mind.  His mathematical genius, along with that of a colleague, helped set an early stage for the movement from large computers into PCs, then laptops, small devices, and cell phones.  Today, Dad’s algorithms are no longer widely used, but they set a stage for where we are today.  You could liken them to Direct Current (DC) in contrast to today’s algorithms that would be like Alternating Current (AC).  He wrote two books, had 18 patents, gets over 2000 hits on Google, and his colleague of the algorithms, who was not struck with Alzheimer’s and has kept innovating, has a Wikipedia page.  Known for his mind, having witnessed his mother’s battle with Alzheimer’s, Dad was terrified of the disease.  He denied it, fought it, angrily reacted, and, depending upon one’s interpretation of its onset, painfully battled it for 12-15 years.
            The dream, as recorded into my journal:
            In the dream, Dad expressed gratitude for the experience of Alzheimer’s.  He said, “Alzheimer’s is not what your doctors think it is.”  He called it not a “disease,” but an “experience” that some souls choose in order to discover another realm.  He said his soul is very Earth grounded in the material, empirical realm, and that any realm apart from this one has terrified him, but his soul longed to discover it.  He said when an Alzheimer’s patient is distant, he has walked into another realm.  When he appears lucid and present, he has walked back into the Earth realm.  “When you [caregivers] see your loved one really with you, it’s because he’s well established in the Earth realm at that time.”  Then he said, “Sometimes, the person will enter the other realm and start following where that other realm is leading him, and he’ll go out walking in that other realm.”  When he said that, I saw him walking and not seeing the physical Earth reality, but what appeared in the other realm, which, in my dream, was shown like a film editing overlay over the Earth realm.  Then he said, “And then he’ll switch into the Earth realm and wonder, ‘where am I?’”
            He said the other realm terrified him, not because it was bad, but because it was unfamiliar.  He said some people with Alzheimer’s discover how nice the other realm is and like it there, and I thought of my Aunt Carolyn, who my cousin said was happy, grateful, often speaking of her husband (who had already passed), and expressing awe.  Then Dad said that other people are terrified of the other realm, like he was.  He resisted the other realm and tried very hard to keep it away from him.
            Then he said, “When the person returns to the Earth realm from the other realm, he wants to re-establish himself back into the Earth realm, and the best way to do this is to repeat what he was doing or saying at the time of he left it.  So he’ll repeat what he had said to get himself back.”
            He said he was grateful for what he had learned by discovering another realm, and he is no longer afraid of these other realms, but welcomes them.
            Wow, Dad. Thank you.  Wow.  I love you!
I also send love to all who are battling this “experience” and to all who love and care for one who is.  
© 2019 by karina.  Please use only with permission.